Welcome To The Non-Sequitor Theatre...

So where have I been?

2008-01-03T23:46:01Z

The conclusion of my previous comment, waaaaay back in the beginning of the summer, is that we bought a house! These are the MLS pictures of our house, with the seller's staging and all their stuff. Most rooms look better with their things, since we basically have furniture from college, and we have enough furniture to fill a 2 bedroom apartment, not a 4 bedroom house. The one bedroom that looks MUCH better with our furniture is the master bedroom. A while back we bought some really elegant bedroom furniture and we have a much nicer comforter and curtains than they had.

If you're curious you're welcome to look at the rest of the pictures we took when we toured the house. Any image named IMG_XXXX are the ones we took, and they're really large resolution. We bought at the beginning of June, and spent the next two months moving from our apartment to the house, and trying to unpack and set things up as much as possible. 6 months after we bought, we're finally feeling moved in!!

Concerning my ~~baby~~ story, I haven't forgotten about it, and I have most of the next chapter outlined. The reason I haven't posted anything in all that time is really just lack of energy. My job is great, but the last year has been busier than ever as I gain more responsibilities, and that didn't change as we bought the house. So I'd come home already tired from work, and then try and work on setting up the house some, and that's pretty much it for me.

I decided that after I took a hiatus from writing to hunt for a house, if I hadn't written and posted anything a year after the last time I posted, that I would remove my story from fanfic.net, or at the least, mark it as abandoned. I swore to myself that I would finish it, but if I fail, I don't want my abandoned story to linger out there, entrapping anyone else. I personally avoid stories that haven't been updated in a year or more, because if I like them and they've been abandoned, it's sooooo depressing.

On a related note, does anyone else out there think that the latest Naruto manga is really... lacking? I've kept reading, but it's a little stale...

Writing, like banging your head against the wall, feels teriffic mainly when you stop. -R. Walter

2007-05-23T02:52:55Z

So, I always hate it when authors who I'm dying to read the next chapter by stop writing and put up lame excuses why they haven't done it yet... so...

*DEEP KOWTOW*

I'm terribly sorry I haven't posted the next chapter of AMOC yet. I really don't have any excuses, just reasons, which I hope that you'll forgive me for. This is what I was going to put in my author's note for chapter ten, two weeks ago... *sob*

"Several people have asked, am I going to continue this story? The answer is unquestionably yes, but I must ask for some understanding. I do have a full time, professional job, plus a regular life and friends, and I’m just not as prolific a writer as some. If I do artwork for the story, which I definitely want to do because I want to improve my art even more than I want to be able to write, that’s done in the time I could be writing too. If it takes me a while to write a chapter, trust me, it doesn’t make me happy to keep you guys waiting.

Now, I have to add to those reasons the beginning of our house search. We've started looking to buy our first house (yay?) which is cool, intimidating, frustrating, and a host of other things all rolled into one. Mostly though it just sucks out the last little bit of energy I have at the end of my day, and all I feel like doing is collapsing. (Gaara... come back to meeeee!!!)

On the bright side, an amazing thing happened... my artwork inspired an even better artist to do fanart of my story! *stars drift past my eyes in wonder* Please check out lillianclaire 's journal here to see her beautiful rendition of Gaara and Sakura in their wedding outfit!!
I first saw it at work, and I wanted to run around the office yelling to see what great art someone had drawn based on my story, but my coworkers are the opposite of geeky. They barely understand what anime IS, much less would get that I wrote fanfiction for a series! (architects are STUFFY non-geeks, I stand out like a sore thumb amongst them...)

Anyway, my apologies for keeping everyone waiting so long. :( I don't have any estimate for when I'll be able to post the next chapter, though I have high hopes for our vacation coming up. We're driving from DC to Indianapolis to go to the Formula 1 race, the US Grand Prix. We're buying a special adaptor to power the laptop through the 9+ hour drive there, so I want to get some quality writing time in on our trip! We leave in almost a month exactly, so if you're the frequent checking type (I am too) then around then would be good time to check back.

AMOC Timeline

2007-05-07T07:20:34Z

In case anyone's curious, I've finally put together a rough timeline of what happens on what day in my story. Modeled after Kodu's story timeline, doing this has really helped me understand what's happening when. I also wish I'd done it earlier, because it's helped point out weird pacing mistakes I made, especially at the beginning. I think I knew, but didn't really realize, that I had all of the alliance proposal stuff happen in just one day. Bad Jenn...

Timeline
Day 1 (Saturday, starts early morning)
Ambassador from Suna approaches Shizune about alliance exchange
Shizune takes proposal to Tsunade
Tsunade considers ramifications of alliance, decides to offer choice to Sakura
Sakura and Naruto spar, Shizune asks them to see Hokage immediately
Suna ambassador and Tsunade propose alliance exchange to Sakura, she refuses
Sakura goes to work at hospital
Sakura summoned to help with gravely injured Kiba
Kiba dies, Sakura flees hospital, runs into Naruto who comforts her, takes her to office
Sakura tells Naruto and Tsunade all that happened, reconsiders alliance with Suna and accepts

Day 2-3 (indefinite passage of time)
Temari and Kankuro discuss Konoha’s alliance acceptance, take proposal to Gaara
Gaara considers proposal, accepts
Suna and Konoha negotiate alliance, Sakura put under guard

Day 3-7 (indefinite passage of time)
Sakura feeling emotionally lost, Shikamaru helps pack her things to prepare to move
Sakura breaks down crying, Shikamaru misspeaks and says he’ll go with her
Shikamaru goes to Tsunade and asks to be a part of the exchange, she accepts
Neji has already demanded to be a part of exchange, Tsunade accepted too
Tsunade goes to Neji and Shika’s families and explains about exchange, Neji’s curse unsealed
Tsunade asks for volunteers for last member of exchange, Shino volunteers
Preparations are finalized by day 7

Day 8
Konoha citizens told of alliance and exchange
Sakura helps Tsunade pack her things for trip, Tsunade tells her of expulsion ceremony
Going away party with friends, well into the night

Day 9
Sakura awakes hung over, showers and dresses to meet Suna party
Hokage and 4 exchange members await Suna party at gates, they arrive around 10am
Tsunade greets Gaara, they proceed to the arena grounds
Tsunade conducts expulsion ceremony, Gaara honors shinobi for their sacrifice, takes Sakura’s hand
Sakura and Gaara walk hand in hand out of arena, Konoha citizens honor exchange members with flowers
Party leaves Konoha gates, Gaara shows Sakura and Shino how to ride, Suna and Konoha caravans leave
Sakura and Gaara talk a bit, Gaara shows her how to ride more
Caravans camp for the night, Sakura bunks with Ino, writes in her diary for first time

Day 10-11
Traveling brings them to border of Fire and Wind country (great plains)
Caravan attacked, Sakura injured, horse killed
(Gaara shields caravan from arrows, Tsunade uses jutsu to expel ninja out of ground to be attacked)
(Naruto rescues Sakura, takes her to Tsunade, Gaara shreds enemy with sand needle storm attack)

Day 12
Sakura unconscious, caravan proceeds on, much slowed by members forced to walk
Tsunade treats Sakura’s fever and wounds

Day 13
Sakura wakes up in afternoon, Tsunade explains what happened
Sakura rides with Gaara, members take her place in caravan, caravan hurries on
Sakura heals self while riding with Gaara
Caravan travels into the night, nears end of plains, Gaara apologizes for not protecting Sakura

Day 14
Caravan reaches rocky plateau, travels across, stops at edge of desert for short rest (at sunset)
Sakura heals self while riding, but still weak, Gaara helps her to bedroll

Day 15
Gaara awakens them at 2am to travel through night and into morning
Caravan makes camp in wadi (around 10am), Gaara shelters them with sand over crevasse
Sakura helps Gaara with horse and water, sits down to talk to him
Gaara allows Sakura to lightly examine him, Sakura almost gets sucked in by demon
Gaara awakens party (around 6pm and proceed to Suna, Sakura rides with Gaara still

Day 16
Caravan traveled through night and reaches gates of Suna around 11am next morning
Sakura asks Gaara about Suna and its history
Temari greets party at gates

Something else I've been thinking about as I talk the story over with my friend - the cast of Naruto is huge, and even the number of people I had wanted to have in the caravan to Suna was overwhelming, so I think I have to limit myself to just Sakura and Gaara's perspectives in the future. I've kinda been doing that already, but now at least I can move forward with that firmly in mind. I love the other three exchange members to death, but I don't think I can tell their story while also telling the story of Sakura and Gaara, it's just too overwhelming. I started this story with the idea that it would be good practice in writing a coherent storyline, and I'm certainly learning a lot! Like, start with a small cast of characters, and move forward with them as you feel comfortable.

AMOC wedding illustration

2007-04-30T07:07:47Z

So.... I've been working on this in the time I'd usually be writing... I hope you don't hate me too much, it's put me waaaay behind in my story (I've thought about, but not actually started ch 10 at all) It's a scene that won't even occur in ch 10 either, but I'd reeeeally wanted to illustrate Sakura's dress, that way when the wedding does come around, I can point to this picture and say "See! He finds out about her chakra focus mark because of this dress!"

Anyway, they're walking down steps that I haven't drawn yet, following a ceremony I haven't written yet....

Drawing Gaara in Kazekage robes was hard! I didn't like the regular outfit, with the swag around his neck, I wanted to draw him in his cool Deidara fight outfit, but with the robe over top of it. Also, there's not one single canon picture of Gaara with his Kazekage hat on! If someone knows of one, tell me! Because I sure couldn't find it. So I used the Sandaime from the Chunin exam as model pictures of what the hat should look like. And I left their hands and feet to the last, the hands I finished up ok.... but their feet are really atrocious. I just decided tonight to draw what I had in and get it over with.

Sakura's got ribbons in her hair and as a boquet, because I'm thinking that the citizens of Suna will give the exchange members ribbons to welcome them to the city. Or maybe they'll just give them to Sakura as good luck fertility charms... I haven't decided :D Fertility charms would be sooo much funnier... Anyway! She accepts these gifts and decides to use them in her wedding outfit, to thank the people for welcoming her. (Becoming a princess of the people and all that... I'm sort of thinking Princess Diana here.)

Sakura's dress, btw, is modeled on an ancient Egyptian style I found in one of my books on Egypt. Preeeety.....

In Naruto Suna culture seems to be closer to Arabic/ Bedouin, but that's just too conservative for what I want to write, so I decided to blend it with ancient Egyptian some. Yay ancient Egypt, more civil liberties for women than existed in our own country a hundred years ago!

Ok, now I've got this out of my system, I think I might be able to get back to writing.... Code of Kodu and all!! ;D

Chapter 352 of Naruto SPOILERS

2007-04-28T07:22:33Z

This post discusses the latest chapter of Naruto, #352. If you don't want to be spoiled, do not read on.

This is a bit rambling...

So... The latest chapter of Naruto. I'm honestly not sure what to make of Sasuke anymore. I originally started as a Sasuke fan, and I loved Sasuke/Sakura ship, but after Sasuke abandoned his village to seek out power I just couldn't help dislike him. I don't outright hate him, but he's been such an asshole it's close. Anyway, my point in posting is to discuss some thoughts on the recent developments with Sasuke, and what might come in the future for the series.

So... indulge me for a moment while I review everything that made me especially dislike him in Shippuden...

Naruto and Team Kakashi go in search of Sasuke and Orochimaru. At this point in time they still have a legitimate concern that Orochimaru will take Sasuke's body over, and their extremely dangerous enemy will become a thousand times more powerful. They also want to keep their dear friend and comrade from a fate they consider to be equal to death, similar to a friend stopping another friend from driving home drunk. And Sasuke meets their concern with nothing but contempt. He even actively tries to kill them.

Lets start with why Sasuke left in the first place. The ultimate reason we all know, he wants to kill his bastard brother. But he could have done that and still remained with Team 7. Konoha ninja are as capable of killing as anyone else, and his brother being a wanted criminal, it's not like Konoha would hold him back from killing him. His own team would probably have helped him, given the chance. But Sai expresses Sasuke's true reason for leaving ~

Naruto changes people. His love, friendship, optimism, and determination inspire others to be better people, gives them a reason to care again, gives them hope. Sasuke knows this, his face above depicts a mixture of pain, sadness, loss, regret. He knows that Naruto will help him remember how to live again, how to hope and love and care. But Sasuke was scarred deeply by Itachi first, and I don't mean just his family's murder. Itachi instilled in Sasuke the deep belief that only hatred can bring him enough power, and Sasuke ran rather than stay long enough for his scars to heal.

Naruto has the ability to wash away Sasuke's hatred, heal his broken soul, but he does not wish for it. No one can change unless they want to. To steal a quote from the Matrix "No one can see past a choice they don't understand." Sasuke's choice is this - pursue vengeance, or rebuild his life. Kakashi attempts to explain to him that vengeance will ultimately gain him nothing, but Sasuke cannot imagine a life without it. He is so stuck in the past that he cannot understand what his future might hold if he left his vengeance behind. The easier, safer path for Sasuke is to do what he's always done, seek vengeance. After all, if he abandons every other thing he might have cared about, he doesn't risk losing it again. It's a very weak, and ultimately cowardly, thing to do, but it's very human.

So, the first thing he does upon seeing Naruto again after three years - swing his blade to kill him. Sasuke has given up all hope for the future, and "when you lose hope, you begin to lose everything." His former teammates represent a threat to the blanket of vengeance-filled obsession he has wrapped around himself, because they are probably the only ones that can draw him out of it.

With all this in mind, something occurred to me when I read chapter 342. Sasuke has finished putting together his new team, but it still nagged at me how stupid he was for abandoning Naruto and Sakura so long ago. They've gained amazing power on their own, and they didn't have to betray or hate to do it. Then it occurred to me, perhaps he wasn't abandoning them, but trying to protect them?

As I said before, I think Naruto and Sakura would have gone with Sasuke without a second thought, if he'd asked them to help him gain his revenge. But the consequences of them helping him might have been their deaths. Sasuke has put together a new team of very deadly ninja, all of whom he has no particular attachment to. His new team is essentially expendable, he can use them up entirely in his quest for vengeance, and never have to face losing someone precious to him in the process. By leaving Naruto and Sakura behind, he's protecting himself, but perhaps he's also protecting them. Maybe he doesn't even understand this is what he's doing, and that's why he fought to kill when they met again at Orochimaru's hideout.

So to where is all this leading in the future? My gut instinct, honed by many years of anime watching, says that Sasuke is redeemable, but his redemption will come with his death. But he hasn't gone so far as to kill innocents, he actively refused to kill the soldiers of Orochimaru, and the inmates of Orochimaru's medical experimentation prison (how innocent they are is debatable, but anyway...) which opens up the possibility of his rebuilding his life.

These are just me speculating out loud about Sasuke's ultimate end ~

*Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura fight Itachi, and Sasuke kills Itachi but dies protecting his friends (from anyone involved in the battle, not just Itachi, but Juugo or Suigetsu, or any member of Akatsuki as well)
*Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura fight and kill Itachi, and Sasuke, revenge accomplished and death avoided, agrees to return to Konoha with them. I think any scenario involving Sasuke returning to Konoha will involve him giving up being a ninja entirely. Running off with a known criminal who tried to destroy your village seems to me to be burning a few bridges...
*Naruto and Sakura kill Itachi before Sasuke gets the chance to. Where that particular thread would go I have NO idea, but it would certainly illustrate all the painful futility of Sasuke's betrayal in search of power.

And that's it I guess, it feels great to get all my thoughts on Sasuke down. I've been enjoying the latest chapters of Naruto, but I am disappointed/ annoyed with Naruto and Sakura for still wanting to go after Sasuke. They're reason is still to rescue him, but now he's an adult, and not in danger of giving his body to a dangerous enemy of Konoha. I guess I just feel like nowadays they need a more compelling reason to go after him than "we want to rescue you from yourself".

I wonder what it is that Karin did to Sasuke so long ago? Can't wait for the next chapter :D

Thoughts? Comments?

From the "What-The-Hell-Were-They-Thinking" department....

2007-04-26T17:39:34Z

Ok... I normally would never remark on comments left for my story. I appreciate that people leave reviews, from detailed ones to the simple one line "rite mor!" type. However, I got a review today that I'm just like WTF? Someone actually left a signed review, saying "YAY, an update plus you finished the traveling (thank god) now the story can get good."

Ummm..... why the hell did you comment at all? Did you totally miss the point of all the previous chapters, did all that character development mean nothing? I mean, is that the kind of thing you say to an author if you like what they're writing? It's sort of like complimenting someone while you slap their face with a brick.

I think I'd prefer an outright flame to something so... backhandedly insulting. Grrrr.... Anyway.... letting go...

Pistol-whipped by my own story…

2007-04-16T07:11:19Z

Jenn: I just want to skip to Sunagakure!
Chapter 9: Hah! You wish loser, write me properly dammit!
Jenn: But I’m tired of traveling! I want to get to the good stuff!
Chapter 9: I DEMAND you write me, biotch! Stop slacking off!
Jenn: ~whimper~ ...jerk.

That's basically the conversation I had with the first act. But when I gave up on the idea of just skipping to Suna, things went great! I was DETERMINED for our little caravan to reach Suna by the end of this chapter, I'm tired of traveling! (I'm also tired of trying to find other ways of saying 'the caravan does *blah*') But yeah...as you can probably tell, this chapter felt like pulling teeth. I started it three times before getting something I was happy with. In other news, if I ever use the words – (adjective) orbs – to describe anyone’s eyes in this story, please just put a gun to my head and shoot me. It was a great descriptive phrase… the first HUNDRED times I read it…

Had to do some research to write this chapter too. I reread what my US Army Survival Manual had to say about desert survival again, and I watched a few documentaries on tv about the desert in general. One was Man vs Wild, where the guy got dropped into the middle of the Moab Desert in Utah, and had to find civilization. Learned a lot from that one too! (Some things I didn’t want to know either, like how peeing on your head covering to keep your head cool is a survival trick. EWWWWWW…)

Also had to research how chakra worked in the Narutoverse, and then somehow make up a way that Gaara’s would be different. Sakura, being a medical doctor, I think just has to be curious how Gaara copes without sleep, so I had to figure out a rationale of how that might be possible. The bit where Shukaku tries to devour her just came as a natural extension of that examination scene, and it occurred to me that it’d be really cool if it killed the medic when they tried to heal him. It isolates him from others, and makes another level where he never gets help from anyone, and has to rely only on himself. He doesn’t get hurt easily, but when he does it’s almost certainly by an extremely powerful foe, making the injuries worse. (And then Sakura can sweep in and save the day with her ‘leet medical skillz! Oh swoon! … all that crap about it being a useful technique takes second place to the FLUFF!! ;D)

I’ll probably go into it more later, but Sakura’s wondering if Gaara’s cells are being forced into accelerated division because that’s the downside of Tsunade’s technique – it shortens your life. If it is accelerated division then Gaara’s lifespan will be shorter, but if not, perhaps his lifespan will be extended because of the continuous renewal of his cells through an outside influence (if having a demon sealed inside you can be called “outside”.) We’ll see in later chapters :D

Finally, in a not really related way... No one should ever rave about the smell of cherry blossom (sakura) trees – I can tell you firsthand, the either don’t smell that much at all, or the REEK like something rancid. The ones planted around my workplace are the second type – walking to get lunch is almost a moot point. By the time you get to the place to eat, you’re not hungry anymore… The non-smelling ones are the type around my apartment complex. They look beautiful, but don’t smell like anything at all. I might go down to the Tidal Basin this weekend for the National Capital Cherry Blossom Festival, but it’s always amazingly crowded, which isn’t fun… If I find any cherry blossom tress that smell like something nice, I’ll be sure to amend my statement at top (but I doubt that will be the case.)

Cut scenes from Ch 9

2007-04-10T07:28:20Z

So, I'm working away, though slowly, on Ch 9 of AMOC. I started and restarted three times before coming on a scene that felt right for the opening sequence, and it's 100% different than what's below. Here are the two previous openings, in all their unfleshed glory...

First cut:
Despite Gaara’s warnings of the dangers of the desert, they reached the pass which marked the entry to Sunagakure uneventfully. Sakura didn’t get a chance to learn much more about desert survival however, having passed two and a half days almost constantly either healing herself or sleeping. (Though she HAD learned about sand mites, to her severe displeasure.) By the time she was done repairing her body and needed no further sleep, the cliffs of the village could be seen through the haze of the evening sun.

*Sand sibs meet them at the pass, Temari asks about how Gaara’s first escort mission went*

Sakura realized suddenly that she was riding into the Kazekage’s town, practically sitting in said Kazekage’s lap, and every single person in the village knew that she was the one that would be marrying their Kazekage. She felt, in a word, like some sort of trophy that Gaara had left the village to hunt, and was now returning triumphantly to display to all. (perhaps she can think of it in an allegory, then it snaps to reality, or remembers from school some kind of animal that hunts out a mate and brings it home, like Tasmanian devil.)

The allegory idea might have been funny, but the only really good thing to come of this was the realization that this should be Gaara's first escort mission. With that idea I've come up with a good backstory for him of just how he went about gaining people's trust and transforming from a feared weapon to a trusted Kazekage.

Second cut: Where the heck was this going anyway? Not to mention, who the hell cares? -
Sakura camped with Tsunade that night, so that she could check on the progress of her healing, and help a bit as well. They talked about inconsequential stuff at first, but gradually turned to discussing relationships as Tsunade imparted what wisdom she could. Having never been married though, and in only one committed relationship, Tsunade admitted that she couldn’t help that much. Sakura would probably have to figure out a way to live peaceably with Gaara on her own.

A misguided attempt to have more mother-daughter interaction between Tsunade and Sakura... pretty much worthless.

I've also realized I've done a bad job of communicating just who exactly is on this caravan trip. I've mentioned just a fraction of the people who I've been thinking were there, and as the journey chapters continue on into ch 9, I'm realizing I'll have to come to a decision. I can -
a)retcon previous chapters to more fully include all the characters,
b)revamp my own definition of just who was in this caravan to begin with, or
c)do nothing, and if they show up in the wedding ceremony later it might seem like they popped into existence.

Caravan to Suna, 32 in all –
Tsunade                Gaara                *Sakura                *Shikamaru
*Neji                        *Shino               Naruto               Kakashi
Hinata                     Ino                      Lee                       Tenten
Choji                        Asuma            Kurenai                Guy
4 Suna advisors & 4 wagonhands
4 Konoha advisors & 4 wagonhands
*means that they're an exchange member

People who have actually been mentioned, much less seen –
Gaara         Sakura         Tsunade         Naruto
Ino               Kakashi       Hinata            Suna advisors, some wagonhands
And Shika, Neji, and Shino I think only got mentioned when everyone was saddling up to leave Konoha. Not since then.

Opinions are greatly appreciated!

Naruto story recommendations

2007-04-01T06:25:54Z

So! I've been hard at work trying to clean out my favorites on my fanfiction.net account, and I've compiled several different fanfiction reference pages. I started the first one for Inuyasha a long time ago, because I was reading so many fics that I couldn't remember what was what, so if I wanted to reread something I just couldn't find it. I didn't link to it or anything, just put it up on my website, but the web crawlers sniffed it out and now it's my most referenced page (depressing, but whatever).

I haven't gone through my alerts on ff.net yet, so the Naruto page is still only half finished, but it's pretty long as is, so I thought I'd share!

Naruto Fanfiction

And the others, if you're into these anime. The first couple of stories on each page are worth reading, even if you're not, they're seriously that good.
Inuyasha Fanfiction
Full Metal Panic Fanfiction

I'm also going to be working on updating my home page. I finally got Dreamweaver and Photoshop installed on our laptop, so I can work on adding pictures and stuff! Horray!

Real Life vs. Fiction

2007-03-26T05:46:23Z

In volume 12 of Fullmetal Alchemist, Hiromu Arakawa says “Fiction brings salvation to characters in stories that would otherwise have no salvation at all.” Real life is nothing like stories, and I can tell you, I’ve had quite a storybook relationship. I met my now husband when I was 15 years old in high school, we started dating at 16, and have been together now going on 11 years. I love my husband, but unlike in stories, love is never enough to keep two people together. You also have to have friendship, patience, understanding, forgiveness, and sheer determination to take you through bad times.

Perhaps I’m just showing my age, but I’ve found myself losing patience with stories written by authors that seem to have no understanding of the emotional depths of love. I hope to be able to turn my breadth of knowledge on life and love into a meaningful statement for Gaara and Sakura. If you ask me, What am I trying to say with my story? I think the answer might be something akin to “What makes two people to fall in love?” Followed closely by “What keeps two people together besides love?”

In real life there’s no one to save you at the last minute, no one to magically sweep in and fix your problem, no one who will understand you more perfectly than you do yourself. Real life is gritty, dirty, ugly, and brutal. In real life failure is entirely possible, your dreams may never in fact come true, and even though you may have been taught in school that you can do anything you set your mind to, you actually can’t.

That’s what real life is, but that’s also why I find Naruto so inspiring. The characters inspire me to be a better person, because real life has also taught me that you never know if you’re going to fail until you try. That sometimes, rarely, you really can understand someone else so perfectly it’s like you’re looking right into their soul. That life has beautiful, tender, warm, compassionate moments, waiting for you to find them. That there exists a love so great that it would give anything for the happiness of the other.

Many kind people have commented on the fact that my story is so realistic, and I want to thank you all for that. I don’t really think so, but if it seems that way then I am succeeding so far. It’s probably just because I’m a decade older than most writers of fanfiction. Things will probably only get more realistic (read: brutal, sad, etc) as we go along, but… the top of the mountain looks twice as high when viewed from the lowest valley. As I think about the moments I want to explore in Gaara and Sakura’s lives I realize that it might take me years to write this story. At an average of a week per chapter, if you take a closer look at the aforementioned analogy, that just might be me standing at the bottom of the valley, looking up at the mountain of words and chapters to come in the future…

I really did start writing this story with no intention of looking for even one comment. I would still keep writing new chapters even with no comments at all, because my motivation to write this story is not connected to my ego in that manner. (Like I said before, I hate it when authors say they won’t write more until they get X number of reviews. I mean, do they really need their ego stroked that much to resort to extortion?)

To be honest I find comments at once euphoric and terrifying. Terrifying because now someone expects something of me, and I can only try and write better to meet that expectation. Euphoric because, for a reason I can’t quite identify yet, once I post a chapter I await the email notices saying a review has been submitted much the same way my dog sits at my heel waiting for table scraps – hungrily, greedily, delighted when one comes my way.

I’ll try to keep my update schedule to an average of a week per chapter. Truthfully, I was trying to match Kudo and post my next chapter either right before or after hers, but the girl writes like some kind of muse has possessed her soul, and my more earthly non-possessed soul just can’t keep up. :D C’est la vie!

Maybe I've got this livejournal thing figured out...

2007-03-20T04:28:40Z

Hello... ummm... anyone? I've decided to try setting up a livejournal account where I can dump thoughts about writing, fanfiction, and the latest chapters of my story, A Marriage of Convenience. Once I get the hang of how this all works, I'd really like to spruce up this page, but until then I hope this works ok!